Dance Like Nobody Is Watching

Dancing in a room full of people can be daunting, we totally get that. Add the fact that you might have recently (or not so recently) had a baby and be feeling self conscious and/or be suffering from anxiety, that's a hard step to take.

You are not alone in this. We have lost count of the amount of women (or sometimes men) coming to all of our classes feeling a heightened sense of stress about taking that first step. What can be hard to get across sometimes is once you've made that first step, then you're in the DLAM Fam and well...we hold on tight to our tribe.

Being able to put an arm around someone, introduce them to others, who felt exactly the same as them and reassure them that it's all about ENJOY... not getting the steps right was our way of saying "you’re okay, we understand." So coming into the virtual world was so daunting for all of us. Somehow not being face to face and being "on show" was nerve wracking even for the most confident of us.

Each team meeting we would all tell stories of 20 trips to the loo before class and just thinking that we cant have that closeness we bring to new mums was a hard pill to swallow. 

However something we hadn't expected was people feeling for the first time that they could attend class. Not always because of distance (although that plays a part...we’ve had women from Canada and Australia join us!) but more that, taking that first step into a room full of strangers was taken out of the equation.

One lovely lady had been finding it hard to make it to real life classes and it had taken her a few attempts to get to the virtual class. But seeing her smiling face in class made all this madness worthwhile. The day after she wrote in her review how "I have anxiety about social situations where I'm unsure of who the people are, the expectations of myself by others in them and having to physically make conversations or move to the rhythm. It's taken me quite a while to join a Dance Fit class, it was made easier via zoom world so after a few weeks avoiding I did it. I'm so glad I did, Nikki is such a wonderful person, non judgemental, fun, and says it how it is. It was lots of fun and I'm looking forward to going to more. Try it, take a step in and it'll all be OK".

This lead me to thinking about a lady we had at our Babywearing Dance classes a couple of years ago. Alba arrived at her first class with her very cute baby and very cute guide dog. She had heard about the class through a friend and was so eager to come (there was a waitlist for the class) that she just turned up. Alba was blind from Birth.

To say I was terrified of how to teach was an understatement, but her huge smile and can-do attitude meant there as no way I could say no to her. Alba then came to see me for a private session so I could help her understand how we could help her more in class and she came every week without fail. She even went on to perform in our amazing Manchester Day performance, which was hard choreography and she was so determined that she came to two rehearsals a week and totally smashed it on the day. 

Alba wrote a lovely letter to me after just before Manchester Day, that I would love to share with you all. I hope the letter and Alba inspire you to just take that first step towards doing something new, towards dance, joy and community. Because we all need to dance like no one is watching. 

Alba’s Story 

I have always loved dancing. When I was little I used to shake my baby bum to music before I could walk, and then I would spin out of control each time my favourite song was on. It was a horrible old Spanish song from the 70s that my parents used to listen to but the rhythm was catchy. 

As I grew up I loved inventing dances with my friends in the school playground and pretending to be the Spice Girls. But then the teenage years hit hard with all its hormonal madness and self-consciousness and I stopped dancing all together. It was no longer cool to just jump around to the beat doing what my little plump body asked me, now it was all about sexy moves and graceful gestures that I could not understand. Being blind from birth you learn most things by listening and feeling, but complicated dance moves are best taught by visual imitation. 

When everyone started going to clubs I would stay in the bar talking or outside smoking, although my feet where itching to hit the dance floor. I had to have at least 5 or 6 beers in me to make a move, and with so much alcohol the most sighted of people would have done a ridiculous job so imagine me!

When the mad rush of hormones left I was a bit more confident, but still I would always dance with caution and only move very little to avoid looking silly. I started looking for one to one dancing lessons, but most teachers would shudder at the fact that I was blind. Some didn’t even get back to me and some others showed enthusiasm but I guess that when they went home and thought better about it they decided it was too much of a challenge and never contacted me. 

When my little baby Eliot was born I signed up for most of the baby classes, my curiosity is too strong to say no. One of them was Dance Like a Mother, I liked the idea of moving about with my baby in the sling so why not? I discovered in my first class that this was all about dancing, not only line dancing but proper stuff, with all those sexy moves and graceful gestures I had struggled with so much. I didn’t give up this time and I kept attending classes. This time nobody said no to me, Nikki was absolutely accommodating and took her time to teach me the moves properly, the other mums in the class would also tell me when I was off beat or in the wrong place. I guess it is this mum to mum connection that made things easy and enjoyable.

This is the first time I have actually been in a dancing class and I am loving each second of it. We have now started rehearsing for a big performance for Manchester day in the centre of town. The teachers have been teaching me the moves with incredible patience and I now feel comfortable shaking my arms all around rather than those little shy steps I used to do.

Dance floors are no longer no-go spaces for me!