I had a straightforward pregnancy and the thought of my first child arriving early hadn’t been something I had considered or even had been discussed with me. Yet at 9.30pm one Sunday night my waters broke. I was 30 +6 weeks.

We quickly made our way to the hospital, and after monitoring us they didn't seem concerned. So, we were told we would probably be sent home after 24 hours. We were left in a room waiting for the doctor that had been called to an emergency. After that things seemed to happen very quickly and the next time, we saw a midwife there was panic.

They quickly gave me a steroid injection (this helps baby's lungs to develop) and wanted to get us to the labour ward as quickly as possible. In the lift my husband said he saw the panic in the midwifes eyes as I lost control of my legs and started shaking like crazy (I was in a wheelchair). Luckily we made it up to the ward as once I laid on the bed I felt her head coming out. They had to whip my jeans off and saw she was arriving!

I'm walking through beautiful woodland, hair freshly washed and flowing, as I feel the gentle rhythm of my baby breathing on my chest, deep in slumber. I'm at one with mother nature, I am literally mother earth IRL! 

Then I have my baby and find that the Instagram babywearing fantasy I created for myself and my newborn is far from reality. I have no fucking idea how to fit this wrap, my baby screams every time I try to put her in it, my hair is on day 6 of dry shampoo and I’m left feeling frazzled. I’m as far from ethereal as you can get. I give up. My baby hates it! 

This sound familiar? Okay some reality checks before we start, because babywearing is just absolutely bloody amazing. It's one of the most natural and beautiful ways for us to bond with our babies and on a practical level it's a god send for being able to settle your little one, be hands free and If you have an older child, to be able to comfort both your babies at the same time. But it also takes a bit of knowledge (we're here for that) and a bit of practice.

So here are my top 6 tips for helping your baby (and you!) to relax and be happier in the carrier/sling.

You may have seen images online and from all the big brands of happy looking parents, with cute babies out facing the beautiful world and you want to give it a go. Maybe you feel like your baby is ‘nosey’ or that they are bored or worse yet, you turn your baby inwards only for them to scream like a banshee!

So I have my thoughts on outward facing, which I will save until the end of this blog, because first we need to set some truths around the real facts of wearing your baby world facing. 

Nothing has ever made me feel as amazingly empowered as motherhood, and nothing has ever made me feel so brutally vulnerable too.

Parenthood undoubtedly changes you, and – regardless of your starting-point – it changes the way you need to work on and continuously care for your mental health.

The greatest lesson I have learnt since becoming a parent – and I should add the immediate caveat that this is still very much a work-in-progress for me – is that it is so important to give yourself grace.