Dancing isn’t about the steps…its a feeling
As we head towards the final of Strictly Come Dancing this Saturday there’s really only one couple that everyone is truly talking about (although everyone in the final this year are truly AMA-ZING!).
If, like us, you've been glued to Strictly every Saturday night for the past 12 weeks, you will have no doubt found yourself in awe at the amazing Chris and Dianne. Several times I've found myself punching the air, fast clapping and shedding a few tears over their dances (as a former rock chick I absolutely loved their Waltz to Metallica’s, Nothing Else Matters)
I also remember seeing Chris at The Comedy Club over 15 years ago and I still to this day remember that gig. I also oddly served him (with the bassist from Elbow!) when I ran a restaurant in Manchester and found him to be just as lovely in real life as he is on the show.
To see what Chris has done with sheer joy, passion and dedication has been incredible. But there also has to be a very big mention for Dianne, who’s had to develop a whole new way of teaching. To get the results they have has just been outstanding and seeing her proud face every week has been a highlight of the show.
So you may wonder what this has to do with us?
In the past 9 years we have been lucky to have three visually impaired Mums join us in class. Some with partial sight and some with none. I remember the first time the lovely Alba walked into class with her very beautiful guide dog in 2018. She hadn’t booked on and thought she would just “come along”. Obviously I couldn't turn her away and I’ll be honest, I was shitting myself! I had never taught anyone who couldn't see before. She totally threw herself in and the other Mums were all so supportive. She decided she wasn’t going anywhere.
We arranged the following week for her to come early and we went through the most common steps with her literally crouching down, feeling my legs as I described the move. Teaching classes with visually impaired people, you also have to describe the moves in more detail, and be much more vocal than you usually would. Alba went on to perform with us as part of Manchester Day and never, not once said “I can’t do it”.
Most recently we had the incredible Lora join us with her little boy. Lora is no stranger to a challenge as a multi gold medal winning Paralypion, who recently won 3 Bronze Medals at the Paris 2024 Paralympic Games. Lora is also an OBE and a huge advocate for women's athletes talking openly about her return to the GB Cycling team after having her son. You may also see her on CBeebies Bedtime Stories!
We asked both these women to tell us about their experience of dancing with visual impairment and what Dance Like a Mother has meant to them.
Alba’s Story
Being blind from birth you learn most things by listening and feeling. I have always loved dancing and as a child had no inhibitions when it came to moving my body along to the music. My Mum says I used to shake my baby bum to music before I could walk.
As I grew up I loved inventing dances with my friends in the school playground and pretending to be the Spice Girls, as all my peers were doing. But then the teenage years hit hard with all its hormonal madness and self-consciousness and I stopped dancing all together. It was no longer cool to just jump around to the beat doing what my little plump body asked me, now it was all about sexy moves and graceful gestures that I could not understand.
When everyone started going to clubs I would stay in the bar talking or outside smoking, although my feet were itching to hit the dance floor. I had to have at least 5 or 6 beers in me to make a move, and with so much alcohol the most sighted of people would have done a ridiculous job so imagine me! When the mad rush of hormones left some of my confidence returned,but still I would always dance with caution and only move very little to avoid looking silly. I started looking for one to one dancing lessons, but most teachers would shudder at the fact that I was blind. Some didn’t even get back to me and some others showed enthusiasm but I guess that when they went home and thought better about it they decided it was too much of a challenge and never contacted me. I felt that dance had turned it’s back on me because I couldn’t see.
When my little boy Eliot was born I signed up for most of the baby classes, my curiosity was too strong to say no. One of them Dance Like a Mother. I usually carry Eliot on a sling and missed dance so much, I thought why not? I discovered in my first class that this was actually dancing. Not just swaying about with your baby. But I didn’t give up this time and I kept attending classes. This time nobody said no to me. Nikki was absolutely accommodating and took her time to teach me the moves properly, the other mums in the class would also tell me when I was offbeat or in the wrong place and be totally there to support and encourage me. I guess it is this mum to mum connection that made things easy and enjoyable. I felt like one of the gang again!
This is the first time I have actually been in a dancing class and I am loving each second of it. We were due to do a big performance as part of Manchester day in the city centre. The whole time the instructors were teaching me the moves with incredible patience ( I couldn't see the videos they had done for everyone else to practice at home). It was the most incredible day. My Husband watching me and feeling so uplifted with all these other Mums & Dads around me.
I now feel comfortable shaking my arms all around and REALLY dancing, rather than those little shy steps I used to do. Dance floors are no longer no-go spaces for me and I will always be grateful to Dance Like a Mother for this.
You can see Alba as part of our Manchester Day performance here
Lora’s Story
In June this year I said a very tearful goodbye to my DLAM family. I had been on an incredibly enjoyable and rewarding journey of self discovery for over 15 months. I felt like a completely different woman to the new mum of 4 months post-partum that I was in late February 2023 when I went along to my first class in Altrincham. I’m not going to lie, I was struggling. I was lonely, lost, sleep deprived, and feeling like I was failing to be a mum. I had been referred with post natal depression as I was struggling to forgive myself for not being able to breast feed my newborn son. I felt isolated as I didn’t know many people locally in a similar situation to me. And then throw into the mix that I am also visually impaired. And there you have it, me at pretty much rock bottom.
I’m not going to lie. I was terrified about going to my first class. I’m not very good at dancing, but I do like to move and keep active. Being a professional athlete, I’m used to being active all the time. I think this was one of the reasons I struggled so much post birth. I was just not able to maintain the same level of activity I was used to. Thankfully I was able to recognise this and so plucked up the courage to approach DLAM and ask if it would be possible to take part in the class. Not being able to see made me nervous of being included, I thought I might struggle to follow the dance moves and make a complete fool of myself.
One other hurdle of being a blind mum is that it is practically impossible to use a guide dog and push a pram at the same time safely. Therefore I needed to be able to use a sling. This added to my feeling of isolation as I was struggling to leave the house on my own as I lacked confidence in wearing my baby safely. Having access to expert baby wearing advice from the moment I came to my first class, alongside everything else was amazing. It allowed me to try out a few different careers, learn how to position my baby correctly, get some much needed endorphins through being active, and sharing a lot of laughs, and tears along the way.
I am forever grateful to Esther, who runs the Altrincham class for welcoming me with such open arms on my first session. I had spoken over the phone in advance to talk through how she could adapt the class to support me. She immediately took me to one side and talked through all the basic steps I would need, being as descriptive as possible. We then cracked on and I quickly realised that perfection is not what is expected of you in DLAM! Lets face it, it's impossible to function when you're sleep deprived anyway, so no-one expects you to get it right in the first place.
It’s so relaxed, everyone is so welcoming and it’s all about just having fun. All the while the babies get a nap, which is great so that you can all go and have a coffee in peace after.
Once I realised all this, any inhibitions I had I completely lost. I fell in love with the whole experience. I looked forward to every session, for the movement, the chat, and best of all, just a bloody good sing song, that wasn’t nursery rhymes! The fact that my son would fall asleep so easily, especially in the early days, and would get to experience the most amazing sleepy baby cuddles was just the best bonus in the world. No one cared I couldn’t see, no one cared I couldn’t keep in time, no one cared if I didn’t quite understand the move, no one cared that I was just winging it, because after all, that’s basically just what everyone else was doing at the same time.
Thanks to all the amazing women who danced, chatted, consoled and shared advice with me regularly on a Thursday morning, I rediscovered my confidence, I realised that there were no right or wrong ways to parent, there was just what worked for you in your situation, no judgment. I realised that parenting was more about survival in the first few months, and so long as you were doing that then you were doing a good job.
I want to end with the words of one of Dianne’s followers that she so beautifully quoted last Saturday night at the Semi-Final.
“ He can never see the visual instructions from Dianne about what he has to do. He can never watch anyone for inspiration. He can never watch his mistakes and learn from them. He can never celebrate a brilliant dance by watching it back. He can’t watch his fellow competitors. He can never see the pride on Dianne's face when he does well. He can never see the faces of those in the ballroom, who are brough so much joy by watching him…and yet without seeing with his eyes, he somehow sees. He understands the spirit of the show and reads Dianne so well. Whatever happens he’s a winner”
NOTHING should stop you from dancing. We know how much joy dancing has brough to so many Mums (and Dads) who have attended our classes, as well as Alba & Lora and you only have to see the impact it’s had on Chris and Dianne to see how much it can truly change your life. If you feel nervous about attending our classes, or would like to attend but have any questions please do get in touch. GET IN TOUCH
We want to wish everyone big shits (sorry this is what we say instead of break a leg!) for the Finals. Saturday nights just won’t be as sparkling and joyful without Strictly on our screens…but hey…at least every week at DLAM we get to Keeep Dancing! xx