Charlie's birth story - Birth after trauma
Birth after trauma - Charlie’s story
In the Manchester area, we’re blessed with some of the most fantastic women’s/mum’s organizations. Just one of these groups is the Greater Manchester Doulas CIC and Lori Parker, who we’re so grateful to have had to host women’s circles for us in the past. Charlie, one of our directors at Dance Like a Mother, has firsthand experience with these wonderful women and would like to share her birth story.
Charlie’s birth story - by charlie
The AMAZING women Greater Manchester Doulas CIC hand on heart completely changed my mindset and gave me the strength and power to overcome my fears!
After Bea (my eldest) was born 9 weeks early and spent the first 6 weeks of her life in NICU very sick and separated from me, I struggled to even comprehend actually giving birth to another child. I was convinced it was going to be traumatic in every way.
My wonderful friends had to force me to meet them (no joke, it took a few attempts) but eventually I did at 37 weeks pregnant with Sam, and they somehow gave me magical powers!!!!
I ended up having a completely natural planned home birth which was the most wonderful experience I have ever had.
My lovely husband John Dickinson and Bea were both there by my side along with doula Lauren guiding me through and keeping me focused!
I am forever in debt to Greater Manchester Doulas and LORI PARKER (littlelori.com) for giving me the strength to take control! Below is my full birth story.
If you have any worries, questions or anxieties about birth or need support dealing with birth trauma these ladies will give you the tools you need!
Giving birth after birth trauma
So I am finally writing our amazing birth story. Our beautiful little boy , Samuel Peter Dickinson was born 9 days early on the 18th September 2018 8:55am at home weighing a healthy 7lbs 2oz.
I have referenced how early he was because his big sister Beatrice (who is now 2) was born 9 weeks early! It was obviously a huge shock and she had a long fight ahead. There was no reason for her early appearance, my waters broke and she was born a few hours later. We were unable to see her for hours as she needed medical attention immediately. We had to leave her in NICU which was heartbreaking but she was a trooper and was finally allowed to come home 6 weeks later.
Because of this I spent my whole pregnancy with Sam terrified the baby was going to come early. It didn't matter how many midwives/consultants told me it didn't necessarily mean it would happen again, when friends asked me about how I wanted to give birth this time round I just couldn't talk about it. I had a complete closed mindset, I couldn't even think about it. In my mind this baby was probably coming early but if it wasn't it was going to be traumatic.
I was introduced to Elle and Lauren (Greater Manchester Doulas CIC) and as lovely and welcoming as they were saying they could help me, meet up for a chat, offer support, put a birth plan together I just couldn't even look them in the eye as I didn't want to talk about my birth to anyone... It was just going to happen and that was that. Oh and I was going to be as close to a doctor as possible when it did.
My friends and colleagues (who were obviously worried about me) were desperate for me to meet with Elle and Lauren so eventually I gave in and arranged to meet them (it was just to keep everyone else happy really).
Well this was the best thing I ever did!! After my husband and I spent 4 hours with them, the wisdom, knowledge, kindness and support they offered had completely changed my mindset. After that evening I had turned into an empowered women and I was no longer full of worry or anxiety... I was already 37 weeks so baby was fully cooked I decided I could take control , so that is what I did. We started planning for our homebirth (eeekk!)
The homebirth
I loved telling as many people as I could that I was planning a homebirth. I felt so proud. My midwife was very supportive and arranged the pool and liner as well as supplying a list of other things I needed to buy.
We attended a homebirth group run by Elle and Lauren and learnt so much from other parents who had already had homebirths and some who where thinking of/planning one themselves so all our questions and more were answered and we heard many positive stories. This just reinforced our decision, time was ticking and it was getting very real but I was still super excited and looking forward to our big day.
I had a routine check up with a midwife (not my usual one) and when asked how babies movements were I said that it felt a lot different now as baby is a lot bigger and the sensation is a bit like slow motion over the last few weeks (in my head this made complete sense as there is less space). He wasn't happy with what I had said and was straight on the phone to the hospital and said I had to make my way there straight away.
When I arrived at hospital the midwife told me immediately that I would no longer be able to have my homebirth and that they will probably be inducing me TODAY!
For what? Why? I was so confused.
I explained that it was all a misunderstanding. I wasn't worried about my baby otherwise I would have taken myself to the hospital 2 weeks ago. She hooked me up to the monitoring machine and I was left for a good hour.
Instead of freaking out and getting angry and worried (which is what I would have normally done) I found a zone and was completely calm. I knew there was no problem and I wasn't going to be told what to do... my body, my baby, my decision!
When I spoke to the doctor after monitoring (everything looked fine obviously) she indeed did say I would have to be induced. When I questioned this she told me that it's protocol as I came in at 38 weeks with 'reduced movements ' and that it's best we get the baby out.
I was stunned even though all the monitoring showed everything was completely fine they were still telling me I had to be induced. When I kindly declined the induction she went to get her senior to speak to me. He said he was happy for me to decline as I seemed very confident that there was no problem but I must book in for a sweep this week and then again the week after. I also questioned this and his reply made no sense, and there was no way I was having it as again there was no need whatsoever!
I left the hospital feeling even more empowered, I was now a warrior in complete control and the knowledge I had built up very quickly had given me the confidence to stick by my decisions 100%.
That evening John and I wrote our birth plan. Because of the days events I didn't want any intervention what's so ever, I didn't want anybody in the room apart from John/Elle/Lauren, nobody was to speak to me other than them and it was all gonna be on my terms (the way it should be). If I needed anything I would ask!
4am and I woke up and just needed to be sat on the toilet, I had slight period type pains... I knew this was it. I pottered around the house and set up a little tea/biscuit station. I woke John up and said I think it was happening, then I rang the doulas.
John started getting the pool sorted and I was just walking around. Surges were very close together and I was writing them down on the back if our calendar and timing them with my phone. Before I knew it they had gone up a notch and I could feel them in the top of my legs.
I had a birthing ball but it was too small, I wanted to be stood up really but my legs weren’t having it. I couldn’t get comfy but I was trying. Suddenly my water's broke at 8:30 so I wanted to get in the pool. I suddenly felt weightless, I was completely in my zone with John and Lauren by my side supporting me.
Bea had woken up by this point and was also in and out the room which was so cute as she was stroking me on my arm reassuring me. The midwife had arrived just before my waters went and John had an awkward moment telling her she couldn't come in the living room but I decided I would like her in the room as babies head was coming.
Sam’s arrival
Our little baby arrived very quickly at 8:55. John caught baby and announced it was a little boy. He was perfect, he wasn't crying but was moving and making lots of noises whilst I was holding him.
We stayed in the pool for about 40 minutes. We were getting slightly chilly in the pool so decided to get out, we sat on the sofa for his first feed. It amazed me that he knew exactly what to do! He rooted, latched on and fed instantly. About 1 hour 10 mins after Samuel’s birth I birthed the placenta which I didn't even really notice because I was just enjoying my time with our new little boy, totally in love.
By this time the other midwife had arrived and they were eager for the placenta to hurry up but it came in its own time.
Our daughter Bea was able to see her brand new little brother and we got the most precious photos of us all together. My family had already arrived to see us all to. It was just perfect!
The midwives weighed and checked Samuel, he was healthy and weighed in at 7lb 2oz.
I feel so grateful to have experienced such a wonderfully beautiful birth!
Are you worried about your birth?
“What I am really passionate about is not natural birth but positive birth! I care that women are respected enough to make informed choices, and are truly supported in their decisions so they can feel empowered by a positive experience. I care that you have a support network of people who feel confident and involved so that they can support you in the best way possible. I care that after your experience, you feel self-assured, confident and supported.” - Lori Parker
We would recommend getting in touch with a Doula that can support you through this process. Often it can just be a conversation that’s needed to support you into having the kind of birth you want or you may choose to have a doula present at your birth. Here are a few that we recommend